tmr got cny celebration. ermps. and im not really excited.
why?
cos we'll have 1 hour of lang arts, 1 hour of maths and then hui1 chun1 in the class room and then go hall.
soggy's going to perform. i bet she cant sleep now. jiayou!
haiz. but i still feel that the mood is not there.
and tmr I HAVE TO STAY BACK TO DO THE STUPID I.T.
stupid flash thingy. baaaah.
and on friday the others going to watch "i not stupid 2" lah. haiz. i dunno. im always left out. wow. i dont exist.
and then cny doesnt seem so nice anymore. got all the homework and projects heavy in my heart.
GAAAAAH. why cant i just die now? i have no life. im just like something in this world without a soul. im just like a pawn in this game of life. im not important. it doesnt matter if i live or not.
and i feel very cheated. you know what? xiaohui just went to ask ms chong if she could try the oboe, and ms chong said she could try it next thursday lah! like everyone's getting the instrument that they like except me!
i feel like they'er using me lah! like what they need double bass for lorh. the double bass cost more than a tuba but it produces less sound. like ERRR? then you buy the double bass for what? waste money. and it's like, i definitely cannot change instru cos im in double bass and im the only junior in double bass, if i join another section, double bass will have no hou4 dai4. then it's like they're using me for their hou4 dai4 lorh. very irritating lah. gaaah. i dont know what's their problem lah. and xiaohui can play the bassoon so good somemore.
AND SHE GETS TO CHANGE INSTRU. VERY FUNNY.
the better you do well in that instru, the less chances you have to change instru lah. i really dont know what's their prob lorh. and my bass teacher even said double not for band, should go join string enzem.
then it's like, after i heard her said that, my will to stay in double bass just vanished lah. there is no hope for me to be in double bass lorh. like im being forced to walk to a dead end and can never turn back. it's like, if im in percussion, maybe i go hcjc can stay in band be a percussionist.
but im a double bassist. what can i do? play a double bass. and im being forced to do it. i have to suffer all the blood and bruises on my fingers. i have to stand on my legs every band prac. i have to suffer being scolded by ms chong everytime i drop the bow, when STRING ENZEM AND CO PEOPLE ALSO DROP THEIR BOWS. and they drop more times them me. and they're supposed to be pro people can?
and i get scolded. like what the? and for the next 3 years i'll have to waste my time going for bass lessons and paying for bass exams.
what for? there's no future for me. it's not as if i'll make it to SSO and me a pro there. im not going to have a solo performance where i can show my skills. i dont even enjoy playing the bass.
then what for? why do i have to go through all these torture?
sometimes i really cant blame my mum from preventing me to go band, cos you see, i dont enjoy being a double bassist there.
so tell me. why i cant i just die now?
